It's late at night and we all know what kind of people come out at night! Yes, it is finally that time for us to talk about something a little juicier. Sex! We all love it right come on, gotta have it from time to time. Nevertheless, dare I say some of us enjoy it more than others? I am not talking about men versus women because we adults know that little myth just isn't true anymore. Women are no longer just having intercourse as a way to just reproduce, we have evolved and we can say " I wanna cum motherf***er" to quote the lyrics of Kanye West. On that note he was not wrong; women have come a long way when it comes to sexuality and being in touch with our bodies.
Nevertheless, I speak for myself and other young women that I know personally when I say we still have a long way to go when it comes to being confident in our sexuality. Slut shaming even though it is not as prominent as it use to be thanks to cancel-culture and other movements such as the "me too" movement. Women can now speak up about things that have happened to their bodies that they did not consent to or maybe just didn't like without being accused of "just being a slut". People are listening, stories are being told, and women are standing by women. Yet, I know there are so many stories that have yet to be told and may never be. Men have been sexualizing women and their body parts for centuries and making women feel obligated to provide sexual relief to their freaky deaky desires.
Would you be surprised to read that there is still some form of pressure that is put on women in and out of relationships to have sex with their date, spouse, or partner? I would not because I have been there done that as I am sure many of us women have. For example "Netflix and chill" for those who are not familiar it is a social media meme or trend that refers to women coming over to young men's houses instead of going out on dates with the male participant expecting some form of sex. Cute right? No, not at all! This is what my generation is considering a date nowadays going to their house and I am not sure because that is not what I consider a date. The pressure that is put on women to have sex in certain scenarios is why I do not participate in that kind of date.
When you tell a guy you are not interested in having sex they usually say they are not thinking about having sex with you, nevertheless given the opportunity the same guy will most likely try something. May it be a kiss that turns into making out and groping, or cuddling that turns into way more than that. In the heat of the moment, it is genuinely pretty difficult to say
"hey, no I'm not feeling this." or, "I said I didn't want to have sex."
I do not speak for all women because some have no problem voicing their concerns and protecting their bodies from whatever may not be warranted. However, I speak for myself and other young ladies who may have felt the societal pressure in the past to be the nice, quiet, easy-going girl who has sex with this guy to save face, spare herself some type of embarrassment, win the attention of a man, or avoid an argument.
I feel as though guys do know that some women may not be confident in their voice or sexuality to speak up and they at times take advantage of that. She may say something about not being sure and he may say something in return to persuade her to have sex anyway. I want to encourage women to talk to each other, and share experiences. Together we can help each other find our voices and protect our bodies while also being able to please our bodies comfortably and unapologetically. This is 2020 let's stop "Netflix and chill" and get these men to start spending some coins at a nice restaurant and chill.
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